Johnson City/ Funky Town

I go to school in Johnson City aka Johnson Shitty. It is referred to as Johnson shitty by unimaginative loony toons. No matter where you are fun is just around the river bend people.

Like the book "Crafts for Poor People" by Amy Sedaris. I have come up with "Fun for poor people"

1. Play fugitive in the mall until a mall cop (a mop) tells you to leave the premises.

2. Stage a fake breakup in a public arena. (Have code names such as Susan and Bubba) choose restaurants along the lines of Logan's Roadhouse and Buffalo Wild Wings. The more personal the breakup the better.

3. Go napoleon dynamite with a car, a jump rope, and roller blades. 10 points for making it over a speed bump, 15 for making through a busy intersection, and 20 for causing a wreck due to yo stylin ensemble.

4. Purchase a bird, name it Mordecai, train it to be your baby.

5. Green Jumping Bean: have one person dress up in a completely green outfit. Go to a college campus, high school, or food court of your choice. Chase the green bean screaming at the top of your lungs. It will cause a scene.

6. Convince someone that they were accepted to Hogwarts. Pick someone such as a neighbor that you do not know very well. Send them letters and pull out all the stops: caligraphy pens, burned edges, wax seals. Train Mordecai to deliver an owl to their doorstep. Dress up as Hagred scare the shit out of them.

7. Play Chicken. Simply hold hands with a comrade. Whoever drops the hand first is a coward.

8. House illegal Immigrants.

Whatever you do and wherever you are you like in Funky Town, not Johnson Shitty.

Peace Out Home Skillets.